WHAT’S your number? It was the question we’d ask each other as youngsters when discussing how many people we’d slept with.
I’m a 49-year-old publicist and writer from Bristol, currently in a relationship. And it just so happens my magic number is exactly 13.
Publicist and writer Jenny Paul has had 13 sexual partners
She says knowing what you like and don’t like in bed is crucial to enjoying it
It is a good amount of partners to have had because knowing what you like and don’t like in bed is crucial to enjoying it. But here’s what else I have learned over the years . . .
I WAS always a bit nervous of sex in my teens. I was a virgin until I was 18. One night I started making out furiously with a guy I had fancied for ages in his bedroom at his mum’s house.
He was 21, took the lead and gave me gentle instructions. It was absolutely incredible and I had an orgasm.
We saw each other on and off for seven years. He taught me that focusing on the moment and not worrying about how you look is how to have lots of orgasms.
I STARTED seeing number two during one of my “on a break” times with number one. He was very into tantric sex. We’d have really slow sex with lots of deep breathing.
It was a totally different experience to sex with number one, who loved fast-paced sex in lots of different positions.
This was very tender and sweet. We’d be oohing and sighing and moaning and holding hands for hours.
It was hot, but after a few months, it just fizzled out.
NUMBER three was a sweet guy but not an alpha male at all. He was the same in bed as he was in life — no passion or fireworks.
Sometimes he’d just lose his erection and I would say, “It doesn’t matter”.
I was happy to turn over and go to sleep. It lasted a couple of months and then we called it a day.
NUMBER four was my best friend during my late twenties. We slept in the same bed for ages and didn’t have sex — but then one night, we did.
It was a bit weird. We’d become such good friends that having sex was strange, as we didn’t really see each other that way. It lasted a few years but ultimately we were better off as just friends.
IN my early thirties, I went through an experimental phase and I met numbers five and six in a bar through a good friend.
They were both huge, gorgeous Dutch guys. They invited me back to their place for more drinks and once there, they wanted to have a threesome. I told them I wasn’t keen and didn’t know what to do.
They said: “Just lie back, close your eyes and relax.”
I was curious: What would it be like? I followed their advice to close my eyes. I definitely did not have an orgasm, as I was too nervous.
I am glad I did it just once to see what it was like. I wouldn’t do it again, though.
NUMBER seven was a fling. He was older than me, nudging 50, and recently divorced. We started dating and had sex one night and I realised with horror he’d taken Viagra. He was on top of me for what seemed like hours.
I asked him if we could stop for a while as I wanted a glass of wine and he said: “Oh, are you bored?” The next day I went home and stopped replying to his texts.
I MET number eight at a party. We fancied the pants off each other and started dating. We were together for six months.
It was pure chemistry and I had multiple orgasms with him. We split after six months as the relationship was based on sex only. We had nothing else in common.
A HORROR show. I got extremely drunk at a party and snogged this German guy. We went back to his place and both ended up passing out half-dressed.
In the morning I woke and was disgusted to find he’d been sick on his side of the bed in the night.
I dressed really quickly and scrambled for the door before he could ask for my number.
I HAD a party one night and at the end of the night a guy I knew through mutual friends pulled me onto his lap and told me that he gave the best oral sex in the world and I should try it.
I didn’t fancy him and I have no idea why I caved in.
He was wrong. All he was doing was the urban myth of licking the numbers of the alphabet. I told him to go home.
I NEVER really fancied girls but there was one who worked at my local pub who invited me back to her place for a drink. We were both drunk.
She told me she was bisexual and we started kissing, then had a shower together and went to bed.
She was better at oral sex than any man I’ve ever met. It was fun but I didn’t want to see her again. At the end of the day, I fancy men.
DURING my forties, I decided to just give up sex for good. I guess this was peri-menopause kicking in.
But after a long dry spell, I met a much younger guy who worked at a flower shop. It was a real confidence boost — he was 27 and I was in my mid-forties.
The sex was kind of bad, though it was not his fault. He was just young and inexperienced.
After I dumped him, he bombarded me with naked pics — so I blocked him.
I MET number 13 right after Christmas. He’s tall, super-strong and incredible in bed. He used to be a wrestler and can get into all kinds of mind-blowing positions.
But he is also a good laugh and makes me feel calm and safe when I am with him as he’s so huge.
I know now that I have a type — big, heavy-set men who take the lead and are dominant in bed and know what they are doing.
I am still with him, so I don’t want to say much more . . . but it’s the best sex I have ever had.
Jenny is glad she had a threesome just once to see what it was like
She says having sex with a toyboy was areal confidence boost