Table of Contents Hide
Sex and relationship expert Kate Moyle is here with facts and tips (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Looking to up your or your partner’s orgasm game?
The orgasm gap is alive and well, what with many women needing more than just penetration to climax.
A US study recently found that just 65% of straight women climax during sex compared to 95% of their male partners and 86% of women who climax with another vagina owner.
While it’s important to remember that the orgasm isn’t the be-all and end-all of sexual experiences, it’s not ideal for people with vaginas to be, well, coming second to such a degree.
That’s where Lelo UK’s sex and relationship expert Kate Moyle comes in – she’s got some helpful tips to help people with vulvas get there in a variety of ways…
The clitoral orgasm (the most common)
Incorporating toys and lube can really help get this type of orgasm going.
Kate says the majority of women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation via ‘the external part of the clitoral structure, also known as the glans’.
‘As the largest part of the clitoris,’ she explains, ‘it can’t be directly touched as it’s inside the body, this makes many sex toys featured around stimulating this specific area a real asset for both solo and partnered play for trying different types of stimulation.
‘The clitoris is the only human body part that has the sole purpose of giving pleasure, and it can be enjoyed in many ways.
‘A good water-based lubricant is the perfect addition to any type of clitoral stimulation as, unlike the vagina, it does not self lubricate.’
Practice makes perfect (Picture: Getty Images/EyeEm)
The anal orgasm
Yes, anal can be orgasmic without a prostate, however, it’s important to take it slow and stay relaxed.
‘The anus is packed full of very sensitive and erogenous nerves which when stimulated can help the receiver to reach orgasm,’ says Kate.
‘As with all orgasms, a cocktail of arousal, desire, sensitivity and the erotic all play a part in experiencing pleasure and reaching the peak of the experience, and feeling anxious or stressed can be a real pleasure blocker.
‘A good anal lubricant is essential as is taking things slow and building up towards more intensive pressure, or increasing penetration size slowly is recommended.’
If you’re finding nerves are getting in the way of your good time, then maybe it’s just not your time – and that’s totally fine.
The G spot orgasm
Ah, the famous and elusive G Spot.
It’s been part of the conversation around sex for years, but Kate says it doesn’t work for everybody.
‘The G spot, or Gräfenberg spot, is a part of the clitoral network and isn’t an anatomical structure,’ she explains, ‘rather a more highly sensitive zone or area.
‘Located about two inches inside the vagina on the anterior wall, it is best reached using a “come hither” motion, which is why most toys designed for G-Spot stimulation are curved in shape to best reach the area.
‘The G Spot is also best found and reached when you are already aroused, but stimulation there isn’t for everyone. It may also take a few tries at finding it, working out what pressure and sensation you like and getting to know that part of your body.
‘Anecdotally, a G Spot orgasm is the type of stimulation and pleasure that most women report experiencing female ejaculation, aka squirting, with.’
The blended orgasm
As the name suggests, a blended orgasm is all about stimulating multiple pleasure zones at once.
Kate says: ‘Most commonly this would be pairing vaginal penetration with external clitoral stimulation.
‘This could be done manually with a partner using the hands or a toy to stimulate the clitoris during penetrative sex.
‘For solo play, a toy like Lelo’s Enigma, which is a dual stimulation sonic massager, was designed with exactly this purpose in mind.’
The nipple orgasm
The nipples are another very sensitive part of the body, with Kate pointing out that the sensation there ‘corresponds with the same area of the brain that is responsive to clitoral and vaginal pleasure.’
However, nipple play is another thing that might not be for everyone for reasons varying from insecurity to sad nipple syndrome.
If you are into the idea of a nipple orgasm, Kate recommends: ‘Nipples can also be experimented with by kissing, licking, pulling or using your hands to play with them to explore what feels good.
‘Playing with temperature such as ice cubes can add something further.’
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected]