‘I use masturbation as a form of self-motivation, and it works’ (Picture: Myles Goode)
For this week’s How I Do It, our series in which a new person each week gives us a seven-day sneak peek into their sex life, we hear from Adam.
Adam is 37, straight and married to Monika, with whom he shares children and a sex toy company called Godemiche.
He describes his personal relationship with sex as ‘an important part of who I am’.
Adam doesn’t like things in the bedroom to get too ‘predictable’, adding: ‘the more predictable sex becomes the less enjoyable it is’.
As such, he likes to mix things up by incorporating stuff like candles, baths, sexy games, and watching porn with his wife. The couple are also no strangers to a swingers party.
However, during the height of the pandemic, Adam says its impact on his sex life was ‘horrible’, citing the strain of not just living and working with his wife, but also homeschooling the kids.
Now that all that is (hopefully) in their rearview, here’s how the couple have been getting on…
I help get the kids out of bed and ready for school. I make them walk to school because it annoys them and I need to get my steps in.
If my wife and I are feeling it, the occasional 9am frolic happens – a quickie before work and then out the door to drop Monika off before coming back to work from home.
After planning out what needs to be done during the week, I’ll prioritise what the most important tasks are. To make sure I get the vital things done, I reward myself. That reward often comes in the form of a wank.
Yes, I use masturbation as a form of self-motivation, and it works!
I go to the gym around 2:30pm, as we have salsa dancing on Monday nights.
After salsa, if we are feeling a little frisky we get it on, having that difficult quiet sex where you can’t be too loud because you might wake the kids up.
Tonight we just have naked cuddles before going to sleep at around 11:30pm.
Rinse and repeat: up at 7am, barter with kids before school just to get them out the door, and then back home for 9ish.
No sex today – got work to do, but we do have those rewards to look forward to.
I’ll often take a sexy snap and send it to Monika. You know, something to distract her and make her smile. We have a couple of new handcrafted masturbators to try out also, so they come out during ‘reward’ time.
After getting kids from school and making dinner, I’ll sit down at the PC and get some more work done while Monika sorts the kids out.
I hit the gym at 7:30pm, get home and have a cocktail in my hand by 10pm.
I surf some kinky websites looking for images, something we can reproduce for our own work or something I can reproduce to send to Monika.
Tonight, it’s naked cuddles again – we make time for that intimacy every night before we go to sleep between 11:30pm and 1am.
‘We talk to people about sex and sex toys until 5pm, and then we pack away and pick up the kids.’
Monika is getting the kids ready today so I’m at the PC working from about 8am to 9:30 before taking Monika to the office.
Today, I’m driving down to collect new moulds and to discuss/review new designs and prototypes. All of the sex toys we make are things we would like to use ourselves, so we use every design several times before it’s ever released to the public.
Today’s new mould is a new Grind Ring texture and vibrating plate. Monika LOVES vibrations, so I’m very excited to give this one a go in the coming days, but we have to make them in silicone before we use them.
In the evening, I go out for a drink with a mate, so I’m back a little later tonight.
Monika’s half asleep, so it’s just naked cuddles again tonight before going to sleep myself.
Managed to get the kids up and out the door at 8:30am today with smiles. Winning.
Then I’m back on to those tasks that need to be completed and enjoying those rewards that come with completing them. While having a ‘reward’ wank today I had an idea about texture and so made a note on my phone about describing the idea later.
I have ideas all the time from the strangest of things. I once was drinking from a bottle of pop and the bottle get my mind racing about textures and how it could be used in a sex toy.
In the afternoon, I get the kids, make dinner, and go to the gym for 7:30pm.
Then we have Nextflix and chill night with French Gimlet cocktails before heading to bed for even more cuddles than usual to make up for last night.
Out the door at 8:45am in the car today so the kids are happy, then it’s off to the office.
On Fridays I have to make more moulds, clean up and do a couple of other things before setting up to today’s live chat on Instagram.
We’re talking about the Grind Ring today and giving people a super ‘live chat only’ offer which ends in two days’ time. I always enjoy telling people about how we use sex toys, with our little tips and techniques to get the most of a toy or what pitfalls to avoid.
Sharing our sexual experiences has always been key to why we do what we do.
On Fridays, we try to leave early, so we can have sex before the kids get home from school, but we have a busy weekend, so we’re working through to 2:30pm before getting the kids from school.
At 5pm, we drop the kids off with a family member as we have a busy weekend where we can’t take them with us.
We’re home and in bed by 11pm, where we just cuddle again.
I’m up early for a skate around 9am while Monika is at the gym. Skating’s a new thing for me – a way to get the cardio in without sitting on a boring bike at the gym.
We have a fetish market to attend Sunday in Birmingham so have to go to the office and pack all the stock needed.
We have boxes and boxes of dildos, grind rings, butt plugs, masturbators and even strap on harnesses and sex furniture all in the back and no one knows as we drive past them.
This Saturday is a bit unusual for us as we have a hotel booked and a photographer to come and take pictures of us having sex. Sounded like a great idea at the time but I’m a bit worried I won’t stay hard, so I got some standby Viagra just in case.
We get to the hotel at 4PM, and have a coffee and a chat with the photographer before making our way to the room to shoot. We get some hot boudoir images of Monika and a couple of us together before moving in to the X-rated stuff.
Having sex in front of someone with a camera might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it turns out we love it and I didn’t need the viagra – good job too, as I realise I accidentally left them at home.
After 3 hours of pictures, we get dolled up and head out to a Swingers Club in the hopes of finding some more fun – and we did. We had sex with each other but with no other couple this time.
We head back to the hotel around 1:30am to have more sex and then we both collapse with exhaustion at around 3am.
We’re up early for breakfast today at 6am, questioning yesterday’s choices but then remembering how much fun it was.
We’re in Birmingham centre for 8:30am, unpacking the products and setting up for this week’s Birmingham’s Bizarre Bazaar.
We talk to people about sex and sex toys until 5pm, and then we pack away and pick up the kids.
When we get home, we put the kids to bed and get some much-needed sleep, but not before having those all-important naked cuddles, happily exhausted after an amazing weekend.
How I Do It
In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.
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